Thursday, February 27, 2014

Sex And Disabilities: Followup


Well, here it is. Laci Green and her friend Olivia discuss Sex and Disabilities.

My first reaction? Big thumbs up. I am so impressed with how much diverse ground they cover. I especially appreciated Olivia admitting that she’s less able to talk about sex and people with intellectual disabilities, since that kind of disability isn’t her personal experience. That said, I think she was probably right to say that the main issue is consent, and then Laci suggested that it would depend on the individual … which is probably always a safe answer when it comes to sex in any situation. I will be curious to see what others with disabilities think of this video. It was way more specific than most of what I have seen and heard on the subject. Most commentary doesn’t go beyond just saying, kind of annoyed, “Of course we can have sex!”

More like this please!

Seriously? ... Again?

Heather Alexander, Houston Chronicle - February 26, 2014

The headline says it all. It is going to take a long time for some people to get used to the fact that guide dogs aren’t the only kinds of disability service animals, and that they all should be allowed in public places, even those that otherwise have “no pets” policies.

Apparently this is partially a Texas thing, because Texas actually passed a law specifically making it a misdemeanor to bar service animals, including those for veterans with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. Gov. Rick Perry, surely a friend to business and as old-fashioned conservative as they come, apparently supports and is proud of this law, but a series of incidents seem to show there are skeptics out there.


The worst problem in society today is PEOPLE PRETENDING TO BE DISABLED SO THEY CAN TAKE THEIR DOGS INTO COFFEE SHOPS THAI RESTAURANTS.

Sex And Disability

Two young women smiling and facing the camera. Left has long, wavy blonde hair, wears glasses, and is somewhat crouched down. Right has medium blonde hair with pink highlights, glasses, and is sitting in a power wheelchair
From the Sex + Tumblr blog, via Sunshine, Been Keeping Me Up For Days.

The photo caught my eye, but this isn't really a photo post. The young woman on the left is Laci Green, who has a really well put together YouTube Channel called Sex + a frank video series about sexuality with Laci Green, where she gives information and advice on sex and sexuality. She apparently is working with her friend on the right on a video segment of her show on sex and disability. I like that they’re asking for people with disabilities to send them questions.

I also liked one of the topic tags on the post where I found this … that says: HOPING THIS WILL BE GOOD AND NOT TERRIBLE.

I think I know what she means. It could be really amazing, or it could be cringe-worthy. I went to Laci Green’s YouTube Channel and watched some of the videos. They are very frank, very “sex-positive”, and as far as I can tell, very responsible and accurate. The key to making this all appealing is probably her fun, feisty tone.

So, I’m optimistic. The only possible drawbacks I can imagine finding in her sex and disability video are:

1. If it is so pitched to young people that oldsters like me might find it alienating, and

2. If it is so pitched to women alone that guys like me might feel left out of the discussion.

I would have no objection to either of these if that is the usual nature of this channel. And I’m sure I’ll learn something interesting no matter what. But it would be really great if the video includes a hetrosexual male perspective … really all gender and sexuality perspectives … and maybe has a word or two for older folks with disabilities on returning to a sex life, or perhaps beginning a long delayed sex life.

Yes, one could make a whole blog about sex and disability, and not run out of topics for years.

Wednesday, February 26, 2014

Photo Of The Day

Black and white photo of a woman sitting in a manual wheelchair, closeup focus on her hand pushing the rim of the wheel, her hand wears a long white gloved with frills, looking like part of wedding dress
From the Ibrahim Alghamdi Tumblr blog, via The Lame Dame.

Thank You Gail Collins

Advocacy topic icon
Gail Collins, The New York Times - February 19, 2014

It's rare for well-known, "mainstream" Op-Ed columnists to write about disability issues. It's even rarer that they get it completely right. That's partly why I was so pleased to find a link to this Gail Collins column about the UN Convention on the Rights of Persons with Disabilities (CRPD), on Andrea Shettle's Tumblr blog.

I especially like that Collins gets specific about what has so far kept the United States Senate from ratifying this convention. It isn’t about the generic “Do Nothing Congress” theme, although it is a variation of it. It has little to do with what is in the convention and what it would actually do. Rather, it has become another test vote for Republican Senators at risk of being "primaried" in the upcoming election by candidates more right-wing and / or paranoid than they are.

The two main "issues" with the convention itself are, as Collins correctly notes, about sovereignty, and parental rights. Or, to put it more plainly:

1. Certain very conservative Republicans have a long-standing distrust of the United Nations, which by its very nature they envision one day imposing laws and changes on the United States. This disability rights convention is to them just another potential wedge for foreigners to meddle in our business, so they want Senators, especially Republican Senators, to vote against it on anti-UN principle.

2. Certain other (sometimes the same) very conservative and Evangelical Christian Republicans are afraid that a particular phrase in the convention opens the door for the UN to overrule what parents choose to do with their children with disabilities. It seems like one specific thing they worry about is that the UN will someday determine that homeschooling is bad for disabled children, and somehow use that to curtail homeschooling in the United States.

The first objection is just the latest version of a sort of "constitutional" objection that is as old as the UN itself. People of a certain political bent have never liked the United Nations, and distrust the notion of “international law” on principle. They are nationalists who believe that the United States should never in any way acknowledge any authority higher than our own Constitution … even symbolically or for practical reasons like diplomatic cooperation and world peace.

The second issue is a little more complex, but only a little. Homeschoolers, especially, (but not exclusively) Evangelical Christian homeschoolers, feel looked down upon and threatened by the education “establishment”. While some homeschool because they don’t like aspects of public education as it is practiced, others basically don’t like the idea of any “so-called experts” telling them how to raise and teach their kids. Since public schools generally don’t see it as part of their mission to inculcate religious values in children, some Evangelicals opt to take their kids out of the “system” entirely and teach them at home, something that United States law does allow them to do. A somewhat side group of parents have a different problem with schools. Since schools still often do a poor job of handling disabled children, some parents decide to give up trying to improve Special Ed through advocacy, and simply decide to go it alone with their kids, believing that they, the parents, know what’s best for for disabled children.

So, you have two groups of homeschooling parents, groups that only partially overlap, who hear government-type agencies talk about “the best interests of the child” and take it to mean that if some academics and politicians don’t like how they raise their kids, then the law will eventually force them to give up their authority over their children and subject them to an education system they don’t agree with and even fear. They see an international agreement like the CRPD as a stealth way to someday circumvent US laws that so far at least do protect “parents rights”.

Of course, the purpose of the CRPD isn’t to change how the United States deals with disability issues, but to bring other countries closer to how American law currently does. There’s no point in beating around the bush here; we’re talking quite often about Third World countries, and possibly Eastern European countries … which often have cultures with pretty outrageous notions about disability, and / or infrastructures where accessibility is unheard of. And even if down the line, someone were to try and bend the CRPD to make legal changes in US law, it is vanishingly unlikely to ever happen under our current relationship with the United Nations. The US has veto power in at the UN. The only thing we have ever done at the behest of the UN is go to war, and then usually because we got the UN to vote for military action in the first place.

Opposing the CRPD on these ground is high-level jumping at shadows. It is also an insult to the many Republican Senators who aren’t big UN fans, but see this convention as something worth doing. Worst of all, it has caused the United States to symbolically disavow one of the few areas in which we truly are more advanced than much of the rest of the world.

The other problem is that the stakes are so low, in a political sense. It’s just not a big enough deal to get anyone upset in favor of passing the ratification. That’s why someone like Gail Collins writing about it, and well, is so important.

Tuesday, February 25, 2014

Video Of The Day


My Gimpy Life
Episode 7 - Also, Teal Too

“Growing Up Fisher” Followup and a TV Idea

This might be another light blogging week for me, because of other stuff I’m working on. For today I just have a couple more TV-related thoughts:

1. I forgot to mention yesterday that the pilot episode of “Growing Up Fisher” included a pretty good scene referencing guide dogs being excluded from some public places. The blind dad, Mel Fisher, is moving into a hotel because of his divorce. The desk clerk sees Mel’s guide dog and says he can’t be in the hotel because they have a “no pets” policy. Mel says it’s a guide dog, and the clerk just sort of repeats the “no pets” policy. That turns into a bit where Mel and his young son do what seems like a routine they’ve done before in instances of discrimination … Mel (a lawyer) cites the applicable laws, and Henry tells the clerk that his dad is a lawyer and will sue them “so hard” that the hotel will end up being named the Fisher hotel. All that snarky advocacy was pretty cool, but what I really liked was how the desk clerk heard them say guide dogs are allowed in “no pets” establishments, but its like the fact didn’t sink in. He just repeated the policy like what the customers said was some strange non sequitor. I wonder how often these cases of service animals being banned from places are situations where the staff literally aren’t processing what they are being told? I mean, maybe they get it the second or third time, (“Oh, I see what you mean!”), but by then they’ve already crossed that line into outrage territory, and next day we’re all blogging about it.

2. If someone in TV wants to try making a high-quality show about disabled people, they should start it out in some kind of nursing home or care facility, and focus on four or five youngish residents who each have a somewhat different disability, or combination of disabilities. One or two seasons could be an arc of them becoming friends, gradually realizing that instead of complaining about shit in the facility, they should try to move out of it. Then the rest of the series, however long it lasted, could show the gang living together in a shared apartment, helping each other deal with all the usual problems disabled people face. Of course a lot of the show would have to be about their interpersonal relationships, non-disability-related interests, their families, non-disabled friends, their sex lives, etc. I’m thinking all this will half-watching Season 3 episodes of “Girls”, so that’s another way to get the flavor of what I’m thinking about … i.e. there would be nakedness and swearing, but also Indie Music and feelings.

More about this another time, I think ...

Monday, February 24, 2014

Photo Of The Day

Photo of young woman with long blonde hair and a mermaid costume on her lower body - she is seated in a wheelchair
From the Sooo Yeah, Anyway Tumblr blog, via Independent and Visible.

"Growing Up Fisher": Untapped Potential?

picture of an old-style tv set with the disability symbol on the screen
This is what one of my favorite TV critics, Mo Ryan, wrote about the new NBC sitcom, “Growing Up Fisher”:
"This show is formulaic, slightly frantic and relies too much on unearned sentiment. Every line rings false and every character feels contrived (Henry's best friend is a cartoon-y character straight from a grating 1994 sitcom). Jenna Elfman is wasted in an undercooked role as Henry's mom, and this is a weird gripe, but I'm very tired of comedies (like "Fisher" and "Mixology") that are overlit. What, you want us to be able to clearly see that the shows aren't very funny?”
That sounds pretty bad, and I’m not going to leap to the show’s defense. I’m not quite ready to give up on “Growing Up Fisher” … I’ll probably watch a few more episodes at least to see if it becomes more interesting … but it certainly feels generic to me. It’s the opposite of so-called “prestige” cable dramas like “The Sopranos”, “Mad Men”, or comedies like “Girls” and “Veep”. It looks and sounds like it has been lifted from the early ‘90s. The characters are quirky, carefully not too quirky, strange, but familiar enough that they will never cause confusion or real WTF moments. The show isn't bad, it’s just not very good. I can imagine many people flipping channels and settling on this show. I can't imagine anyone thinking, "How many more days until the next episode?"

Poster for TV show "Growing Up Fisher"
I do have some thoughts the only thing that is potentially interesting about the show ... the main character's blindness. Mostly, I have questions:

- Is it remotely realistic that a middle aged man, blind from early childhood, could, or would, keep his blindness a secret all through his adult career? Will the secrecy theme serve an ongoing purpose, now that it looks like he’s “coming out” as blind?

- Will we get to find out why Mel originally kept his blindness a secret? Did he have bad experiences with teasing or discrimination as a child? Did someone convince him early on that blindness looked bad in the professional world? Did he get wrong-headed advice from questionable experts? Was he just plan ashamed? If so, what made him decide to be more open about being blind? Will that be a difficult adjustment for him? He seems like a very confident man. Will that be shaken by how people react to his blindness?

- The main joke about Mel’s blindness, other than hiding it, is that he takes great pleasure in doing things you would least expect a blind person to do … like driving a car or cutting down a tree with a chainsaw. I suppose that’s better than if they depicted him as clumsy and accident-prone, but I wonder if they will dig into that a bit deeper. Will Mel start to find that while its cool and impressive to water ski or skydive or whatever, it’s more useful to be able to do ordinary things and not depend on your 10 year old son all the time? It seems like they are going in the right direction for something like that, but I can’t tell if they’re going to make the most of it.

- The most interesting part of the first episode was Mel’s young son Henry feeling like he isn’t needed anymore when Mel gets a guide dog. I hope the show continues to explore how Henry has acted as his father’s helper, and how it changes their relationship when Mel starts to be more independent and open about his blindness.

- It seemed like the was a slightly novel twist on the old idea of fathers who tell the same old stories about their childhood hardships, with Mel telling his kids that they can achieve anything, after all, “I went to law school blind!” His daughter Katie, who seems to be a 16 year old, seemed for a moment like she was about to answer back by asking why that’s supposed to be such a feat, but she didn’t. I really hope Katie will be someone who sees through Mel's heroic, over-achiever facade. It wouldn’t be insulting to disabled people, it would be a joy to see a tired cliche taken down a peg.

- Mel just comes home one day with a guide dog, surprising everyone. In real life, you can’t just go and buy a guide dog. It takes months of arrangements and training, something his family would have had to know about. Okay, maybe that’s a nerdy detail that’s fine to gloss over for story purposes. But the disability experience is all about details like this that are massively important to disabled people, and quite unfamiliar to non-disabled people. If you’re going to show what disability is like, and do more than make jokes about it … which the writers of “Growing Up Fisher” seem to want to do … then do it right. Above all, don't be afraid to explore the very real dilemmas of living with a disability. A positive, progressive portrayal doesn't have to imply that life with a disability is problem-free.

Which leads me to ask a more general question about disability on TV. The disability community has talked a lot about how rarely disabled actors are hired to play disabled characters. What about hiring disability consultants? “ER” famously had it’s medical consultants, why not hire a blind person to provide ongoing advice and “disability direction” to a show like “Growing Up Fisher”? I would imagine such a consultant in the writers room would have said a few times, “Yeah, that would never happen”.

A blindness consultant could also help the show take full advantage of it’s disabled character. There’s a lot to explore here, and it doesn’t all have to be deadly serious, either. There’s plenty of room for humor with a heart, and a mind. I’m just afraid that the show’s creators either don’t know what they have, or are too afraid to use it.

That seems to be a common problem with disability on TV.

Saturday, February 22, 2014

Paralympian Jessica Long Goes Home

Credit where credit is due. NBC did a wonderful job with the profile of Paralympian Jessica Long, showing her visit with her biological parents in Siberia, Russia. The segment, which just aired, was beautifully done and made me cry. I’m not sure which affected me most, Jessica meeting her Mother, or meeting the now elderly women who ran the orphanage where she lived until she was adopted by American parents.

Jessica also had very meaningful things to say about understanding why her parents gave her up for adoption. They were under age, unmarried, and they felt ill-equipped to handle a child with disabilities. You could see the absolute mix of pain and joy on the Mother’s face when she saw her grown daughter Jessica. Parts of this this world are very harsh places, and people try their best to do what they feel is right. It’s great that Jessica Long got to tell her biological Mother that she understands, and that she loves her.

Photo Of The Day

Young woman in wheelchair, with blonde hair highlighted with blue, wearing turquoise Converse high-tops, red shorts, black tank top, sitting in a wheelchair