This will be an uncharacteristically short blog post for me, because I kind of deal with this issue of “coming to terms” all the time at my blog, Disability Thinking. Just visit there and browse, and you should be able to figure out how I have and have not come to terms with disability in my life.
I will only add this …
I am 47 years old. I have had disabilities all of my life. I have been exposed to a wide range of different ideas about disability, approaches, disability cultures, and philosophies. Yet, although I mostly relate to a generally “positive” view of disability, I can’t entirely buy into the idea that disability is “great” or “awesome” or “special”. Nor does it feel right to say it’s a “tragedy” or “handicap” or “illness”.
To me, disability isn’t a good thing, or a bad thing. It is just a thing. I used to think that was a cop-out, but more than ever, I really think that’s my answer … the terms I have come to with disability. Any other answer seems off-target and reductive.