For all the disabled people traveling tonight ...
Wednesday, November 27, 2013
Disability Thankfulness
I’m thankful that my disabilities have for the most part not included chronic pain.
I’m thankful that I was born with my disabilities, which means I never had to go through the traumatic period of loss, adjustment, and even identity crisis that people do when they acquire their disabilities later in life.
I’m thankful that I was born into a progressive, loving, supportive family that never did or said anything to seriously undermine me, either intentionally or inadvertently.
I’m thankful that my family had the financial resources to provide me with a plentiful childhood, a great education, and a financially secure start in life.
I see that these are mostly about difficulties I haven’t had to cope with. It doesn’t mean that I think my life would have been horrible or impossible if things had been otherwise. It doesn’t mean that I pity or devalue people who can’t be thankful for these things. I'm pretty sure they've got things they are thankful for that I can't claim. I guess what it amounts to is that for better or for worse, I am thankful … on average … for who I am and turned out to be.
A Pleasant Little Surprise!
I think I’m having a disability-related nerdgasm. Sleepy Hollow, that wonderfully batshit crazy, time-shifted, fish-out-of-water, mythology mashup of a TV show, has added a character in a wheelchair! She’s the teenaged daughter of the police chief, a character that’s becoming better and better himself as the show progresses. She might be just a one-time guest character, and I doubt she’ll ever become a main character, but that works fine for me. She seems like a pretty cool person … cool, but normal, neither a super-crip, nor a bitter basket case.
This show pays new dividends every damned week, and this was such a bonus!
Tuesday, November 26, 2013
A Good Advocacy Result, But I'd Like A Bit More
The Ethicist is a regular column in the New York Times. People send in their ethical questions, and The Ethicist discusses the dilemma and provides some kind of answer. Klosterman doesn’t seem to be very judgmental or superior, so I’m not all that surprised that the parent in the blog post below got a positive response.
Love That Max - November 25, 2013
What does surprise me is the nature of Klosterman’s response. In a way, it seems too personal. It should be more public, considering his whole job is discussing moral and ethical issues in a public forum. An apology letter and a charitable donation are nice, but it might be more helpful to write a column about the “R-Word” and maybe more broadly, “Political Correctness”. One of the problems with this tiresome but necessary debate over language is that people see it as “political”, when really, they need to think of it “ethical”.
Also, I don’t believe for a minute that Klosterman never heard of people being offended by the “R-Word” until he got that letter. He has to have been aware of the controversy long before that, yet until he got that letter, he chose to use the word anyway. If he ever addresses this in a column, he ought to address that, too … why do people continue to do and say things they basically know they shouldn’t?
"Woof To Wash"
The cool thing about this is that even if you don’t need the dog to do every step, it’s great that it can help with any of the laundry steps you might have trouble with.
One of my Facebook friends tipped me off to this last night. Thank you!
One of my Facebook friends tipped me off to this last night. Thank you!
Monday, November 25, 2013
Photo Of The Day
From the Wheelie Wifiee Tumblr blog.
I'd prefer a built-in seat, but this is pretty incredible, too.
Disability News
Jeff Lee, Vancouver Sun - November 19, 2013
The tone of this article surprised me a little. I thought there would be more moaning about regulation gone mad. In fact, it’s pretty even-handed. It also gives a very good explanation of the difference between Accessibility and Universal Design.
Margalit Fox, New York Times - November 23, 2013
I hadn’t heard of Adrienne Asch before. I really appreciated reading about how she reconciled being pro-choice on abortion, while opposing “selective” abortion when used to prevent the birth of babies with disabilities. I’m still not sure the two positions will ever fit together comfortably, but I’m glad to see that someone credible made the effort.
The Editorial Board, New York Times - November 24, 2013
It’s interesting to see how different people and organizations approach their editorials in favor of the UN Convention on the Rights of Persons with Disabilities (CRPD). The main difference among them seems to be whether or not they refer specifically to the right wingers who actually derailed ratification the first time. This New York Times Editorial mentions the “sovereignty” claim and the supposed threat to parental rights, but leaves out the role of home schooling. It seems like everyone has to decide whether it’s better to raise these “ ssues" again and refute them, or ignore them and hope most people aren’t aware of them.
Sunday, November 24, 2013
Video Of The Day
From the Crazy Crip Girl Tumblr ...
“If you fall out, and if you have a pain disorder, it is going to hurt, honestly, it is, it really is. But … but the ability to do tricks, though, I find it very ... I think it makes life better for me, personally."
Weekly Wrap-Up
Links to last week's "Disability Thinking" blog posts ...
Sunday, November 17, 2013
Monday, November 18, 2013
Tuesday, November 19, 2013
Wednesday, November 20, 2013
Thursday, November 21, 2013
Friday, November 22, 2013
No posts.
Saturday, November 23, 2013
Saturday, November 23, 2013
" ... show me what you need in the bedroom."
For what it’s worth, it seems like “Passion Fish" passes both the Bechdel Test, and my proposed Disability Bechdel Test.
Thursday, November 21, 2013
Tough Love?
Love That Max - November 21, 2013
I have started reading Love That Max, a blog about disabilities from a parent’s point of view. So far, it’s the only parent-oriented blog that I follow.
My parents didn’t talk to me much about my disabilities when I was growing up … at least not directly. At least not that I remember. Reading the Love That Max post linked above, I thought of one time when my Mother told me about her reaction when I was born and found to have several complicated “problems” that nobody seemed to have a handle on.
Mom told me that for an unspecified amount of time right after my birth, she was very upset, angry, grief-stricken, whatever. She then told me one day she was unloading her feelings with a close friend … Why me? Isn’t this terrible? What are we going to do? … and the friend said something like, “Well, it certainly would have been a lot simpler for you if he hadn’t been born!”
Mom said that this was a crucial moment that “snapped her out of” her spiral of grief and regret, and refocused her on her love for me as her child, and on the future and what needed to be done.
I’m not sure how I feel about this today, but I remember that at the time I felt really good hearing the story. For some reason, it satisfied a lot of my questions. I guess the incident must have settled most of Mom's questions, too, or at least made them manageable.
Years later, Mom told me about a similar turning point for her that happened in a similar way. When I started college, I had just gone through a really terrible medical crisis. My recovery from that coincided exactly with the start of my Freshman year. I was at college far from what was then home (Olympia, Washington), and my Mom was there, staying in an apartment near the college. It hadn’t been part of her plan or anyone else’s to stay with me, but she was because like I said, I had just gone through like two months of weird medical problems and hospital stays. Apparently, one day she was talking on the phone to one of her friends back in Olympia … just a casual conversation at first I guess … and suddenly Mom just started unloading all of her confusion, sadness, and lack of direction. I was doing okay, you see, but she was still stuck in crisis mode. Well, according to Mom, the friend just said, “Claire, come home.”
That was it, I guess. Mom told me about this the very next day, literally in the process of explaining why she was leaving. As I recall, she was gone by the end of the week. Frankly, I was extremely pleased at the time. I couldn’t have found the words or the gumption to tell Mom I didn’t need her around anymore, but that’s exactly how it was. And once again, it took a friend … not a relative, doctor, or counselor ... to tell the simple, honest truth in a way that my Mom could digest.
Unless I’m mistaken, Mom and Dad never connected with any sort of disability / parents community. I think they saw it as too “touchy-feely” or something. I wonder, if I’d been born in 1997 instead of 1967, would they have read “special needs” blogs like Love That Max? I feel like that might have been more likely, as blogs allow the option of participating anonymously. Plus, they both loved reading.
Seeing in these blogs how continuous the difficulties of parents with disabled children are, I also realize that they can’t really be solved with a moment of tough love from a friend. Yet, I also sometimes think that’s exactly what more of these parents ... and their disabled children ... need.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)